Psalms 3

I was reading in Psalms today and was leveled by what I read when I went over Psalms 3.  David is talking about his enemies being so numerous that he can't even count them.  And then in verse 6 he says, "I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side."
My "enemies" are so much less and yet I have a hard time fighting off fear.  I think we all suffer from  a case of the "what ifs"  What if I loose my job?  What if my wife dies in a car accident?  What if my health fails?  And on and on it goes.  We need to rest in the fact that God has things in control.  Does that mean life will be a bed of roses?  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  It simply means that God will be there to walk us through the hard times.  He will be there to give us strength to go on.  He will be there to give us wisdom with tough choices.  He will be there to comfort us when we are feeling depressed, stressed, sad.  I like how David puts it in verse 3 when he writes, "But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high; With all my might I shout up to God, His answers thunder from the holy mountain."

Have you taken the time to lay your troubles at his feet?  Have you taken time to be in his presence?  Far too often I complain or feel that God is not near...yet I don't give him the opportunity to make himself known.  We need to be putting ourselves in the position to hear God speak...and that takes intentional effort.  Sure, God can slap us across the face to get our attention...but I've found that more times than not, God is in the whisper.  And to hear a whisper you have to tune out the distractions around you and focus in on the voice. 

Matt. 8:1-17

So we met with our small group last night.  They invited Jill and me to start coming a few weeks ago and we decided that since our lives aren't very busy (I hope you sense the sarcasm!) we would give it a try.  Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Matthew and in our small group we go through the section he is going to preach on this coming Sunday.  Matthew 8 comes right on the heels of the Sermon on the Mount.  When I read through Chapters 5-7 of Matthew I really come away with the feeling that following Jesus is about getting right in your heart.  It isn't about following some strict set of rules, it isn't about doing the right thing.  It is about seeing people as God sees them and doing things with the right intention.  It truly is a heart issue, a matter of motives.  It is about knowing God and being known by God.

Then in Chapter 8 we see three of examples of how this looks in real people.  It isn't about people who are doing all the right things that Jesus is impressed with.  It isn't people with a great reputation for being "holy".  It's a leprous man, a Roman Centurion, and Peter's mother-in-law.  I'll start out with the leper.  People typically thought this man had done some great sin or his parents did for him to get leprosy.  But Jesus was impressed with his faith.  I must admit, the man's request is pretty remarkable.  Not only did he demonstrate great faith when saying, "If you are willing, you can make me clean," but he also recognized that maybe God had a purpose in him having leprosy and he might not want him well.  I have to be honest, I do a terrible job of laying out my requests to God.  First off, I usually assume that God must want the same thing for me as I want.  I mean, why wouldn't he, right?  Maybe God has a little better vantage point from where he's sitting and I am supposed to be right where I am.  Secondly, I really have such small faith.  Half the time I'm praying I lack the faith that God can/will actually show up.  I guess that's pretty sad and shows where I'm at.  But what's the point of fooling myself?  The problem is I'm such a logical person that I struggle to accept the miraculous now.  I don't have a problem believing God did what he did in the past but I have a hard time accepting God doing miracles today, at least where I'm at.  I know I should have faith in this but it's tough.  Anyways, all this to say that I wish I had an ounce of the type of faith this leprous man had.
Now on the the Roman Centurion.  Obviously this occurred while the Romans were ruling over the Israelites.  The people of Israel did not look too favorable on the Romans and it would come as a shock to hear Jesus proclaim that this Roman had greater faith than anyone is Israel.  It would be a big slap in the face to his own people.  This guy probably doesn't follow the law, he probably doesn't practice the Sabbath or follow the ceremonies so how could Jesus say he had greater faith than anyone in Israel?  It's a matter of the heart.  He completely trusted Jesus and Jesus saw this.  I try to have this kind of faith.  The phrase, "fake it till you make it" really doesn't apply here.  I've been trying to fake it for years but it just doesn't seem to be working for me.  Don't get me wrong, I would say I've got a relationship with God, but my faith is pretty small.
The last thing that really stuck out to me in the section of Scripture is the reference to Isaiah 53:4-6 in verse 17.  In reading this passage I was really struck by the words used here.  He "took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."  The picture is not just of a God that forgives sins, but actually puts them on himself.  Too often I forget this as I go on sinning.  It actually has a COST.
What a great section of scripture that is truly inspiring.  I hope to develop this kind of wild faith; abandoning logic at times; not afraid of the uncomfortable.  This is my prayer.

What's it all about?

Here...we...go.  I write this as I picture Heath Ledger in "The Dark Night."  My wife and I recently started going to a new church and have joined the Sunday School class.  The current class is studying spiritual disciplines right now with the purpose of becoming more like Christ.  One of the verses they have focused on is 1 Tim. 4:7b which states, "...train yourself to be godly."  Over the years I have really felt the closest to God when I have been actively reading my Bible and spending time in prayer and meditation.  However, during the last year my life has been filled with change, stress, and a lack of consistency in anything.  Without getting into too much detail, I quit my job of almost 10 years at our church, started another job, began attending a new church, quit my new job and started another since I was not enjoying my new vocation and couldn't sleep more than 4 hours a night.  I retrospect I see that when I needed God the most in my life, I was seeking Him the least.  What is that about?  I was filled with such stress that I didn't have the energy to seek God, yet I needed Him more than ever. 

This past week we were challenged look at where we want to be in our walk with God in a week....in a month....and in 6 months.  We were asked to be specific with S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, attainable, something with an "r", and something with a "t")...as you can tell, I was really paying attention.  Anyways, I definitely wanted to be at a place of actively seeking God again.  The movie Julie and Julia came to my mind and I thought maybe a blog about my successes and failures would be helpful.  Maybe not to anyone who might be reading this, but at least helpful to me.  So over the next year and I going to record what God is teaching me, what insights I have gained through my daily Bible reading, and anything else that I feel is relevant to this project.  So, I am going to actively seek God.  No passive, sit-in-the-pew only, "let some one else tell me about God when I could be experiencing Him myself" kind of Christianity for me.  I'm excited to be back on the path again.  I am excited to meet with God again.  I'm excited to reconnect with my old friend.